As all of you know, I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder or GAD for short. Although I don’t have GAD for now (Alhamdulillah), I still feel strongly negative about certain things that contribute to my GAD or I made an attachment of it to my GAD.
I really have this irrational ‘fear’ of them and it’s not normal because a phone call from them, seeing them in the office will make me want to run and hide. You see, my phobia of them (I work with a new company now) stems from the time I worked at my previous company. There was a lot pressure and stress and finally I suffered from GAD after 6 years working there. I left the company not on good term with the bosses & I never want to see them if I don’t have to. The psychological trauma was so great that I had the same mind frame when I started working at my new company. I had insomnia as I worried about everything. I avoided seeing the bosses & it did warrant a warning from my boss to buck up as I was having too many sick leaves (due to GAD). My current bosses are kind & rational people and they notice my lack of enthusiasism & proactiveness in handling my work. I always came to the office very-very late when everyone was already in.
But then it hit me. I don’t to be like this for the rest of my life and I started to look for alternatives in dealing with GAD. When I found Shaklee, the rest is history.
But I still has this fear of bosses in general because of the attachment that I made that bosses are the cause of my GAD.
I really love Facebook previously.
But not so much now in the past year.
I come to associate it with my GAD too.
I’m doing Shaklee biz on Facebook & promoting the benefits of vitamins to family and friends. During the course of building up the business, there was a lot of personal setback & hurdles (again this is due to GAD) and people in general don’t understand it. They assume that if you gave so many excuses, you’re just not positive enough. Oh! How wrong they are! They don’t know that GAD is anxious about everything & anything 24/7. They way people react will have an impact on us.
Some of the friends in Facebook did unintentionally gave a bad impression to me (though not their fault) & somehow this stigma is stuck in my mind. Thus I’m avoiding Facebook if I can. Apologize to all those friends if you feel I’m talking about you. You’re the best, but I’m seeing you through GAD filters.
So now I’m mostly on Instagram.
So there, I said it you two – bosses & Facebook – unintentionally are the source of my GAD and I’m trying to avoid both of you (not the boss though. Haha)